Magnetron Sputter Deposition System

Working with Dr. Allain and his research group after I graduated was an incredibly wonderful experience. After we lost Jaden, it was really hard for me to go back to work there, which was strange to me. There were so many emotions and memories I hadn't realized I had built there with Jaden while he was inside my tummy, and everyone had been so supportive and helpful, especially when we went to the hospital and after we lost Jaden, that every time I went into the building even, I started to cry. And if I talked to a co-worker, fuhgetaboutit, as soon as they stepped outside or I left the room, I was fighting tears. It was a very new thing, and I didn't quite know what to make of it.

I decided I needed some more time to emotionally heal, and Dr. Allain was amazingly understanding. I will never forget his understanding and kindness towards me and Mark during my time at Purdue.

The project I had been working on was completed by the other wonderful group members, and Bryan was kind enough to show me the final project one afternoon when I went in to clean up my things.

Here she is!

The top port is a special sample holder that can rotate to ensure uniform coating of the samples.  It was supposed to (more on this later) lower inline with the center of the chamber to allow the samples to be loaded and unloaded in-situ so they could be coated, irradiated, and evaluated without breaking vacuum and compromising the sample surface. The bottom ports are where the sputter guns are located. They are on the bottom so that gravity is working against them, and the material that is going to be deposited has to be attracted to the sample, and therefore won't just fall in clumps onto the sample. The goal with a system like this is to get uniform thin film coating on a sample surface. There are three sputter ports, and so you could even deposit multiple materials at once to get mixed deposition.

Here you can see the purple/blue glow of the sputter guns when they are on! aren't they BEAUTIFUL!! :-D They are plasma guns, how it works is the chamber is evacuated and then filled with argon, which is the gas that is used to make plasma. The plasma is used to sputter the target material (the coating material) off the target, and then the bias on the sample draws the sputtered material up,  toward the sample. Rotation of the sample holder helps to get uniform coating.

UNFORTUNATELY.... I learned there were problems with the sample holder that were really really bad to use like it had been designed for. Apparently, there had been parts of the holder left off the technical drawing that were not accounted for in our chamber design (cords or something), and so when everything got installed...it didn't fit right. It didn't fit! We spent some serious $$$ on this chamber (particularly the holder), and it didn't fit! When Bryan told me about that, my heart about dropped out of my stomach.  I can't even imagine what it must have been like when they took it out of the box and tried to install it, and it didn't fit.  It blows my mind. I feel terrible to not have been there to try and fix this, but so many of us had looked at the drawings, had them modeled on the computer, discussed them at group meetings before anything was ordered, in an effort to make everything work right...and...it didn't fit.

 *sigh* I still have not gotten over this.

I never got to hear the end of this story, but I hope with all my heart that it ended happily. Bryan and Miguel said not to worry about it, they had some ideas on how to fix it, and they are way more capable than I am at just about everything, so I am sure it ended well.

I still can't believe it didn't fit. :-( C'est la vie with research :-(  It can break your heart!

Black Apple Dolls

My wonderfully talented friend Joni taught me all about black apple dolls. We had a craft making adventure day and made some dollies! I am enchanted with how they turned out, and may have gotten carried away making clothes and accessories.  Their little faces are painted on, Joni was such a champ at making the perfect little eyebrows, she helped me paint on mine :-) Thanks Joni! It was so much fun!

Family Cakes

Here are a few of the cakes that I have made recently (sort of) for family. Congratulations all of you! 

Sam's Eagle Court of Honor:

Trevor's Graduation and Farewell and Eagle Court of Honor:

Happy Birthday Bianca! 

(The camera date is super wrong,  the above were done cerca 2011)

Becky's Graduation Cake:

Jasher and Jenny

WHO--RAY!!!! WHOOOOO-RAAAAAAAY!!! :-D

We were SO excited to get to see Jasher and Jenny again!! This was hands down my favorite part of the weekend :-) (No offense to seeing Huntsville and DC). We were so glad that they allowed us to come and stay with them, since basically Mark just called up Jasher and invited ourselves for a visit when we got the idea of the road trip :-). After we found out that they would be there and it was possible for us to visit, we planned the trip for over the weekend so we could hang out with the  Fowles. They are such a wonderful couple!

While we were there, they took us to the Children's Museum! Oh how I LOVE children's museums! And it was even better to go there with friends :-) It was so fun especially to watch Jasher and Mark getting all competitive at the different activities. :-)

One of our favorite areas was the building with blocks area! Jasher and Mark embarked on a tower building contest to see who could make the tallest tower. My tower was very sturdy, built Jenga style, but short. Jenny's tower was built kinda like a log cabin, but kilter-skilter, and also a little on the short side. Jasher and Mark's building styles were more elaborate...and definitely more tall :-)

Then they got the idea to couple-combine the towers to see who would be the tallest...

 Here is the lovely Jenny, modeling the log cabin building technique...

 Here is Jasher adding to the Jasher-Jenny complex :-)

 Finished product! Way to go!!

Here is a look down the center of Marks tower - super tall and super sturdy! Way to go handsome Mark!! 

Here is the combined Pfeil complex! Look at that BEAST! :-) Thing aint goin' NOwhere!

 It was pretty awesome :-) Jasher at one point said, "Wait! Were competting against two engineers! This is a biased competition!" Our tower was pretty sturdy, but top heavy. The Fowles complex was a tidge on the wobbly side, and not quite as tall as Jasher would have liked, so he strategically added a few stacks of blocks on one corner to beat Marks tower, and we snapped a picture quick before it toppled :-) Then we got to knock down our tower!  It was SO fun to play with blocks!


There were also these hydrological press toys that you could push against, and someone weak could win against someone strong. We played on these for a good long while too :-)

 Go Jenny go! :-D

Awww...! And here is my Handsome Mark, playing in the tinfoil area, with a rose for me! 

 So sweet!  He deserved a kiss :)

There was also this really cool dancing dust mote thing. I am pretty sure magic was involved in making it dance. We stood and watched for quite some time. Here is a video!

On the way home we got some DELICIOUS BBQ and spent the rest of the evening at home with the Fowles, visiting and catching up on old times. I got to help Jenny wrap christmas presents, and Mark and Jasher got to play Wii tennis and bowling and other things, it was so much fun!

The next day we got to go with them to Stake Conference. It was really great to get to spend the sabbath with people we care about. A member of Jashers stake presidency shared stories and learning experiences he had as a boy from Christmas. The stories and talk reminded me of the way President Monson teaches and tells stories and life experiences. It was a really great conference and we were glad we could attend.

Afterwards Jenny's broher brought over even MORE amazing BBQ that he had smoked. Oh. My. Goodness. It was mind bogglingly good. I love meat---SO MUCH! He also made all these magical sauces to put on the meat and the slaw, it was so tasty. It was hard to choose a favorite, but I am pretty sure that I liked the vineagar sauce the best. I am SO EXCITED to live in a part of the country with such yummy meat. Truly, my heart and stomach can hardly wait.

We were sad to have to head out on the last leg of our journey, but we were so glad that we got to spend a few days with our friends! Jenny packed us wonderful snacks. (We will definitely have to come and visit again soon! Thank you so much for letting us stay with you Jasher and Jenny! Love you guys!

Road Trip 2011!

Yay for roadtrips!! :-D This was hands down my favorite roadtrip to date, and I suspect it is because we were not moving anyplace, so our car was not loaded down with supplies and belongings. In fact, we didn't take our car at all! We took a rental and it was fabulous.

This road trip was inspired by Mark applying for the (and being accepted into) the SMART fellowship program. This is a program where you are sponsored by a DOD facility to study for a PhD, and the student agrees to intern every summer at that facility and then work at that facility after graduation 1 year for every year of support. Since this is a pretty big commitment - on the order of 7 years - we decided it would be nice to meet the people that mark could potentially be working with and see the facilities and the town. There were  2 DOD locations we were considering -- one in Huntsville, AL and the other in Washington, DC. So! We decided to take a little roadtrip - down to AL, over to NC, then up to MD and back home again!

First stop: Huntsville!
What to say about Huntsville!? I must admit, that I was quite hesitant about the prospect of living in Alabama when Mark first proposed this as a place he wanted to work. (I blame it on movies...I know, I know...embarrassing). But! As it turns out...we were enchanted with Huntsville. Its a bigger city than Lafayette (thank goodness!) but not as big as Chicago or Indy, which would have been too big. The roads are nice and wide (thank you city planning!) and the town overall was just really nice. Mark was impressed with the rich rocket heritage they have in the area as it is the birth place of NASA with the work of Wernher von Braun and his team. It was definitely super cool. Maybe more importantly, Mark also liked the people that he would be working with, and the prospect of the types of work he would be doing there. So! All in all, it was a very successful and reassuring visit and we were glad that we were able to make it together before having to make any decisions.

Second stop: Jasher and Jenny!
So much fun... this requires its own separate blog! In regards to the road trip, I will just say, surprisingly,  there is no direct interstate connection from AL to NC, unless you go up through another state (Georgia maybe?) Anyway, we took a little windy highway through the Smokey Mountains to get to Charlotte NC, and it was really fun. And...the smallest bit creepy. The thing that was strange was that all the leaves on the plants and the vines and the trees were gone. Now, yes, I do realize that leaves falling off everything is TOTALLY NORMAL for the winter... but it was just a different kind of dead forest than Mark or I were used to seeing. There were vines and undergrowth covering EVERYTHING, but it was all...dead. I don't think I have ever seen dead widespread vines like that. I was like a jungle...but dead. Like a big, heavy, blanket of deadness draped over the trees and everything. I kept thinking, "so this is it...this is what happened to Rip van Winkle..."

But, you can't judge a place by winter, you just can't! :-) We were really impressed with all the little rafting and camping places that we saw along the way, it looked like there were lots and lots of fun things to do outdoors, and that is something that Mark and I both enjoy and have missed living in IN :-)

Third stop: DC!
After a COMPLETLY lovely weekend with Jasher and Jenny, we drove on up to DC. It was a really fun drive! I had never been through that part of the country, and I was struck by how often we crossed into a new state. TOTALLY AWESOME! It felt like were were making such progress in our road trip! Striking difference than driving  through TX and NM when you will drive for DAYS is seems and are STILL in the same state. *sigh*

We were fortunate enough to have been invited to stay with the family of one of the people in the group Mark was interviewing with, and they were members! They had suspected that we were members since Mark had put on his resume his two year mission trip to Ecuador.   It was so lovely to meet them and to stay with them in their home with their three great kids. They let us stay in their mother-in-law suite and encouraged us to go out and visit DC the night after mark interviewed, and gave us a wonderful perspective of what it was like to raise a family in the DC area. I will admit...it was too big for my taste. I started to cry/hyperventilate in the traffic. I don't do well in high stress car situations, I am such a pain as a passenger, and I felt bad for poor Mark who had to drive. It did not bode well for living near Marks work, and we were not too excited about the idea of a several hour commute to work. It made me appreciate more all the sacrifices my Dad makes so that we could live near family while he worked in Los Alamos.

That night, we decided to take their advice and go sight seeing in the city. So glad we did! Since mark was interviewing until pretty late, we took the subway into the city and took a night bus tour of the mall. It was so fun!

We got to see the US Capitol, Kennedy Center, Library of Congress, Supreme Court, House and Senate Office Buildings, Federal Triangle, Pennsylvania Avenue, The White House, Capitol Reflecting Pool, Georgetown and Iwo Jima Memorial.

We got to get off and walk around to visit: The Jefferson, Lincoln, Vietnam, Korean and FDR Memorials. They were AMAZING. Here are some photos!

The Jefferson memorial was by FAR my favorite to visit. When we were there, it was starting to rain, and for a while Mark and I were the only people in there. It was almost a sacred place, it is hard to describe, but the spirit was really strong.

On the walls of the memorial are engraved words penned by Thomas Jefferson, and they are beautiful. When I read them, I got goose bumps.

God who gave us life gave us liberty. Can the liberties of a nation be secure when we have removed a conviction that these liberties are the gift of God? Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just, that His justice cannot sleep forever. Commerce between master and slave is despotism. Nothing is more certainly written in the book of fate than these people are to be free. Establish the law for educating the common people. This it is the business of the state to effect and on a general plan."
                       — Thomas Jefferson

How can any American deny that our forefathers believed in God and Liberty from the overpowering hand of government when their words, and God's name, are etched in our memorials and government buildings?

Several walls had inscriptions penned by Jefferson or taken from the declaration of independence, and they were all wonderful. 

 

Here is handsome Mark on the steps outside the Jefferson Memorial! 

 

It was SO great to have the opportunity to visit so many memorials and monuments. We were sad that we didn't have time to visit more, but we are so grateful for what we did get to see! 

I wish that all Americans could have the opportunity to visit these memorials. I have to admit, I had no idea what it would be like, and I hope that we can take our kids there some day. So great!

The trip back to IN was breathtaking. The rolling hills and farm land and little towns of Penselvania were so picturesque. So so pretty. I am so amazed by how much variety there is in this nation of ours, and I feel blessed to have the opportunity to visit the areas that we have.

Leah!

My first (and consequently only) roommate in college was a wonderful girl named Leah. She is awesome, and I am so glad we were able to become friends. She is from LA and we were assigned as roommates since we both decided to do luck-of-the-draw when we went to the dorms. Man, those people who match individuals up based on interests for roommate pairs did an awesome job. When we were unpacking our stuff, I was loading my books into the bookshelf on one side of the room, and she was loading some of the same books into her bookshelf on the other side of the room. We had also both signed up for the same class! Now, you might not think this was significant as  college freshmen tend to take similar basic courses. However.  This was not a core class.  It was an elective. And out of the thousands of students that enrolled that semester,  only 12 were in this particular class...and one of them happened to be my room mate. AWESOME!

Anyway, I bring this up now because my wonderful roommate leah did us the honor of stopping by and visiting on her way out to a new job in Boston. Leah is so awesome. She has some true wanderlust in her blood and is crazy brave and adventuresome. She is a great example of loving life for the journey and accepting any challenges that come her way in stride. I loved being her room mate and getting to spend time talking with her. We even did institute choir together, even though leah is not a member of the church. I loved it when Leah would come home with me to have dinner with my family. Ah, good times and great memories.

Anyway! Thanks for stopping by Leah and good luck in your new job!

The Ants Go Marching...

... 1 by 1...

..hurrah, hurrah

The ants go marching 1 by 1,

HURRAH! HURRAH!

The ants go marching 1 by 1,

the little one stops to suck his thumb,

and they all go marching

..out

...of the drain

...to get into the house

boom, boom, boom, boom!

boom, boom, boom, boom!

The Ants go marching 1,290,806 by 1,290,806

hurrah, hurrah

The ants go marching 1,290,806 by 1,290,806

HURRAH! HURRAH!

The ants go marching 1,290,806 by 1,290,806

the little one stops to pick up sticks

and they all go marching

..out

...of the drain

...to get into the house

Yes, we were indeed invaded by ants. And not just a few scavenger ants. No, we got the "swarmer" ants too. The giant, scary, huge, ants, with wings, and swarm out of the bathroom vent every night and then die. We find there carcasses littered around the bathroom every morning.

Disgusting.

I was so disgusted that I planned my potty breaks to coincide with shopping, work, church functions, anything so that I could avoid going into the bathroom. The pictures do not do it justice...but I was too afraid to get any closer to take pictures, and there is no zoom on my cell phone.

We tried all the home remedies and commercially available ant traps for all kinds of ants. Finally I convinced Mark to let me call the land lord. Our land lord called the bug people and they sent the bug guy out the next day. I love calling the land lord!

The ants were gone within 3 days, and I could once again go potty in peace.

My Mom and Sister

We had been keeping our families updated, and my mom said, "you let me know when you want me to come, and I will be on my way".

I am so grateful for my Mom. I felt bad asking her to come, but it meant so, so much to have her here. Mark was really glad she came too. It was a huge relief and wonderful to have people here with us.

My mom stopped in Texas on her way to Indiana, and my sister Kiora and her two kids chio and alex came to visit us also.

I can't stress enough how much of a comfort it was to have them here. My Mom and sister were heaven sent.

I felt really spoiled. It is always a strange mix of emotions when there is a death in the family, because it is so nice to see everyone, but it is sad the reason that they came, you know? We were really glad that the kids came along also. Mark really liked playing on the wii with alex. Chio and I painted fingernails together. It was so, so nice.

I was totally surprised at how much I hurt. It was very strange. I had just had a baby...but I didn't have my baby. It seemed like I should be able to do things like normal. Not the case. I really, really loved the pain pills they gave me. I hadn't taken any at the hospital, so I filled the perscription they gave me but I didn't take the pills at first. Then we went shopping on the way home from the hospital and I went in with Mark and walked around...big mistake. I started hurting bad and didn't think I could make it to the front of the store again. It was really funny. I seriously contemplated asking Mark to get me one of the mechanized carts they have at the front of the store. I was like,"uh...Mark? I think we're gonna have to hang out here by the milk for a while...I can't move. I think my guts are dying" My mom said it was most likely from being bed ridden for over a week. It was really, really strange.

My mom made delicious and wonderful food for us. So, so wonderful to have my mom cook for us. I have said before, but I will say it again: my mom's food has magical properties. She even cooked lots of food for us to put in the freezer so we didn't starve when she left. I have the best family in the world, I don't know how I got so lucky. They washed the dishes, they did laundry, and they were both patient while our pluming went nuts.

Oh, the plumbing. Mark and I thought it was funny, but only because we were not there when water started shooting out of the toilet when the washing machine went into the spin cycle. And apparently, we have ants that live in our heating vents, and when the water dripped down into the heating vents in our bathroom floor, it angered the masses of ants who then started coming out in droves. I came home and was like, "uh...why is there a ring of towels in the bathroom, where did all these ants come from....and why is everyone taking a nap?" It was a pretty exciting afternoon I take it. We had left to go to the funeral home and take care of some details. Luckily, our land lord is awesome and someone came and fixed the plumbing right away. We only had to strategically plan grocery store trips to use the restroom for one day!

One of the things that I will cherish forever is the scrap book they made of the photos taken of Jaden at the hospital. I wrote the words to put on the pages, and picked out the pictures, and they put everything together. We stayed up late one night and talked and glued and cut. My sister Iwalani participated via skype. It was very theraputic, and I love love love to look through the book they made.

Thank you so much for the time you took to stay with Mark and me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I know it was a huge sacrifice and it must have been tiring, but it meant so much to Mark and I. Thank you, thank you, thank you. A million million and forever. :-)

The Memorial Service

We had a memorial service for Jaden on Friday, January 21, 2011 at the Tippecanoe Memory Gardens. The funeral home and cemetery were extremely generous and helpful in providing a way for us to bury our son. It was really important to us to have a place for his remains to be laid to rest, and there were so many people who helped us through that process.

I was worried that people would be sad if they came to the service, but my mom told me that it was part of the grief process, and it was better to let people know about it so they could make the decision to come or not on their own. I really didn't think that very many people would come, since it was on a Friday afternoon, and I knew people had to work, but I thought my mom was right.

We brought a few things to set up for the memorial service so that people could see how handsome our little boy is!:

There were beautiful flowers in the memorial center when we arrived, and at first I was really confused. We didn't know what to do with them and thought that they were there for someone else, but the cards on them said they were for us. They were so pretty. One of them was sent from my professor Dr. Allain.

About 20 minutes before it was supposed to start, people started coming. And coming. And coming. I was completely overwhelmed by how many people came to the service.

So many people came, family and friends, that there was not enough room in the small chapel at the cemetery. It made me cry so much to see all the people there (I had determined that I was going to be brave and not cry...that lasted about 5 minutes). Marks parents came. His aunts and uncles and cousins came. My mom and sisters came. Both of Mark's advisers came. Several of his lab mates came. My adviser, and several of my lab mates came. Kelly drove up from Lebanon. Alisha and Jeff drove up from around Indy. Rick mark's friend from Chicago came. Most all of the members of our branch came. Brother and sister Boss came. Amanda and Brian came. Chase and Joni came, the list goes on and on, I was so overwhelmed by how many people were there I was embarrassed all over again.

Amanda called that morning and asked if there was anything she could do to help, and I asked her if she would play a song on the violin for us. I hadn't really thought about it, but when she called and asked, that sounded like the best thing in the world. She also offered to bring her keyboard and play music while we sang the opening song, "He sent His son". I could sit and listen to Amanda play on the violin for days. She is incredibly gifted. The song she played was one she had composed for her Grandfathers funeral. It is a melody of gospel hymns, and it lifted my heart.

Later, Brian told me that when he walked into the chapel that morning, he felt like he was walking into the celestial room. He said the people whispering, the spirit of peace there...it was just like being in the temple. He said he was really glad that Jaden could do that for us. I was so touched to hear him say that.

Mark asked Preside Low to conduct the service, and we asked him to read a few words we had written and then say anything else that he felt like. Brother Boss gave the opening prayer. I wanted to share the memorial we wrote for Jaden.

"Jaden Pfeil

The journey through life of all children rarely takes the course their parents expect. With our Jaden, while the duration was not what we had anticipated, its destination is all we could have hoped for. We have not lost our son; we know where he can be found. He has been called home to Heaven.

Jaden was a brave baby. What a wonderful mission he had as an older brother. He came to earth and made it possible for future brothers and sisters to have a better chance at living.

His body was perfect, and his heart was strong. He has 10 tiny fingers, and 10 perfect toes. He had a vigor uncommon in babies so small; he was his daddies little boy. He loved his mommy, and did his best to comfort her with his sweet kicks and beautiful heartbeats.

While his body may have been small, his spirit was big enough to fill our hearts. We held him in our arms for a few hours, but we will carry him in our hearts always. He has been a highlight in our lives. We love him, we miss him like crazy, he will always be our precious little Jaden .

We chose the name Jaden for our little boy because of its meaning: God is Listening.

Our Heavenly Father loves little children, watches over them, and cares for them. When they return to him, it is for a special purpose that we may not understand. And while we feel the loss of the time we wished to spend with him, we do not doubt that God listened to our prayers, and the prayers offered on our behalf, for a special little boy.

God continues to listen and answer us with the comfort and hope that comes from a Loving Heavenly Father who knows the pain of losing a first born child, as he lost his son so that all children could live again. What comfort there is to know that “…the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ.” (Mosiah 16:8).

Because of Christ’s atonement, we do not feel death’s sting in Jaden’s passing. Yes, our hearts ache as we long to hold our baby and grieve for the future we had envisioned with him, but we do not despair. We know we will see him again. We know that through his birth, our family has still gained a son.

We rejoice in the temple covenants that seal us as a family and can allow us to be with Jaden again. We rejoice in Christ’s victory over death that will allow Jaden to have a perfected body. We rejoice in the time we did get to spend with him, and look forward to the day when we can hold him again. "

After that, President Low talked about the resurrection and the life and mission of Christ, and how what he did takes away the pain and sting of death. After that we went to Jaden's grave side for the dedication of his grave, offered by Mark's dad. After that, we said goodbye to everyone and had lots of more hugs. After most people went home, a group of family stayed for his enterment.

We invited Marks familyand Mark's friend Rick to come back to our house for lunch. My wonderful and amazing mom and sister made pot roast and salad and cake for us to eat. We spent the rest of the afternoon with family.

I was a really hard day, but a beautiful one. The sun was shinning. I think Jaden would have liked that. I know I did! The days before and the days after were all snowy and drissly...but that day, we saw the sun.

Here is a pitcture of the headstone we picked out for Jaden!

I think he would have liked the puppy and the tree too :-)

Mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort

The wonderful counselor at the hospital explained the mourning process to me like this: "When you lose a child, you mourn their future". Those words really made sense. It was ok that we felt sad, and we could feel sad for however long was right for us.

I am so grateful to the people in my life who mourned with us, prayed for us, and comforted us when we needed it. All the visits, all the dinners, all the notes, and flowers, and emails. To all of you...thank you. I don't know if you can ever comprehend how much it meant to us.

Every time we got a call, or a visit, or an email, or a letter in the mail, or beautiful flowers, I was overwhelmed by tenderness and compassion. I read and re-read all the cards and emails. I cried a lot. I stuck everything I could in an album, and over the months after we lost Jaden, I would look over them and be touched all over again.

The Connolly family, who had lost two children, stopped by and brought us some wonderful books that I recommend to anyone who has lost a child. My favorite is "Angel Children" by Mary J. Hill. They came over several times, and would let me show them his pictures, and talk about him. Sister Leaming also came over, and let me show her his pictures, and she made me feel so loved. My wonderful friend Amanda came over, talked to me on the phone, and brought me hot chocolate. She would just let me tell her about Jaden, cry when I needed to, and just be a wonderful friend. What an amazing support system of family and friends Mark and I have been blessed with.

For me, it was really healing to tell people about Jaden. He was important to me, and even though he passed away, I really wanted people to know him as much as they could. Mark grieved differently, and mostly in private. I remember many times we would just hug each other, and cry. Mark is not too much of a crier though...but don't worry, I compensated in those cry sessions :-) I'm helpful like that.

We are so, so blessed with so many wonderful people in our lives who reached out to us and supported us. Especially my mother and sister, who came out and spent a few weeks with us and were there for Jadens memorial service.

I could go on for pages and pages with account and examples of service of those who went out of their way to help us.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.